CHEQUE DE INDIA

In a surprising development over the issue of National hockey team going on indefinite boycott of the world cup preparatory camp, Hockey India officials on funday have approached Rukhrukh Khan for rescue.

"We have approached RRK to get ready the woman's hockey team to represent India in the world cup again. RRK's girls have already equalized the men's team in the movie. The whole country has seen the match ending in Draw. And they also eventually won the world cup. This time we have decided to divert the men's team funds to the woman's team. DOCOMO : Do the New"

"Also, we are thankful to the men's hockey team for coming up with innovative slogans like "cheque de India" during their strike, which inspired the whole Idea. "An Idea can change your life: What an idea sir ji" "

Chatur, from the super hit movie "FREE IDIOTS", who is also a big hockey fan has highly acclaimed the concept.

"ये तो बलात्कार हो गए है !! ऐसा करने से तो पुरुषों के टीम पर कोई स्तन खर्चा नहीं करना पड़ेगे !! RRK ने IPL से बहुत स्तन कमाए है और महिला हाकी टीम के पास तो पहले के विश्व कप में कमाए हुए स्तन है, उन्ही स्तन से हम विश्व कप में जा सकते है" He said

Prime minister Manmani singh is also impressed by the decision.

"Such measure will surely help our GDP to grow at 7% this fiscal year" He said।

Also, there is a rumor that RRK has already ordered 50 bottles of "Himani Sona Chandi Chavanprash" to be used during the training.

One of those days

He was lying on his cosy couch, relaxed and calm, scanning through the innumerable crappy TV channels looking for something to kill time. Everything was fine until that one moment. That one moment which comes now and then and drains everything out of his mind. That one moment he battles with once in a while and is defeated, always, easily. He switched off the TV, hurried to catch the keys of his bike, said nothing to anybody back home and drove at once. Driving swiftly with lazy expertness, through the excessively crowded and noisy road due to navaratri celebration, he felt an deep urge to scream at them, just once, so loud that his own voice would be the last sound striking his eardrums till he reaches his destination.

It took him around 10 minutes to reach there. He had first come to this place 6 years back. He had came with a bunch of other relatives for the creamation ceremony of one of his old aunt. And since then made coutless visits to this place. He parked his bike and walked of the dusty road. "Shivnath" river was roaring like a lion. In front of the old shiv temple on one of the banks of river there were stairs to walk towards the river. A barricade had been made a few years back just where the stairs end to keep a check on river water. On one side of the barricade water was calm except for the occasional disturbance created by wind on its surface. The other side was pretty low and water would fall from a good enough height through the barriade and splash against the sloping rocks turning itself into white powder and foam. It is nothing short of a man made waterfall. On both sides of the river are dense green forest and ocassionaly a few fisherman can be seen with their huge fishing nets and small boats.

He walked along the river bank towards one of the huge rocks. The rock was flat at on top and made an excellent place to sit. He climbed to the top of the rock and blew away the dust and sat over it. It was time for sunset and the place was quite, as always, just like he wanted. So quite and peaceful that he could close his eyes and feel each breath he would inhale. Air, with the sweet smell of wet soil. He sat there with mind completely blank. He forced a thought, but it would not stay, giving him a mixed feeling of anger and pleasure. for years he had tried to justify coming to this place, his sudden urge to stay alone and quiet. What is so special here that he comes rushing here. he has tried to "reason" his sudden urge once in a while to renounce everything, speak nothing and stay alone, quite, undisturbed. But he has failed miserable. because there was no reason behind it, not a single one he could think of. Because reasons can be fought with reasons, and it would have given him a slight hope to win over this urge. The fact that he has never been able to justify his urge made the matter worse. Its like a battle lost without even fighting it, because the enemy is extremely powerful yet unknown.

He sat there, for hours and hours, arrogant and unaware of the world around. for a split second, distant noise of loudspeakers and chattisgarhi folk music bothered him. It was coming from the woods. But even this thought, just like many others, vanished into the empty space, just like the river water splashing against the sloping barricade, turning into white powder and then lost into the swift waves.

Time flew like the swiftly blowing wind over the surface of water. He could see the sun slowly turning orange and drowning happily into the river far ahead. sky turned from clear Blue to Orange to Grey and finally Black. But he felt like he had just came and would give everything he has, if somebody could just stop the time and hold the world still. The view was still majestic, after the sun was completely submerged into the river water, sky was decorated by the moon in its full glory and his fellow twinkling stars. They seemed to be in perfect harmony. there was no fight between them for space. there were no borders or Line of control in the sky. There was no rush in their existence. The stars were not jealous of the moons brightness, instead seemed happy for him. Everything was calm and eternal, and any attempt to describe the moment would be futile.

Then came a call from his sister to come back. he wanted to reply back, but could not speak. It felt like his mind wanted to create some noise with the vocal cords but his heart wont allow . In fact, he hated the noise created by his own cell phone. It felt to him like a heinous crime against the peaceful surrounding. Quietly, he stood up, bowed before the idol of "Lord Shiva" in the temple and drove back home. He had always believed that "if somebody can not enjoy his own company, he should not expect other to enjoy his company". He has quietly laughed upon people who are afraid to stay alone, afraid of themselves. Its so much fun to be alone, or rather to be with a nature around, quiet and eternal. There's no rush in life, nothing in future or past as precious as the present. and he was happy to make the best out of his present, without the need of expensive clothes, or exquisite perfume, or delicious food.........without anything...anything.

THE GOAL AND GOALKEEPER

SCENE I : I remember around one year back during the Durga pooja vacation, I was showing my friends the pictures of kgp. Scrolling through the "My Pictures" folder her picture popped up most unexpectedly, pouring sweet old memories from the past. It took me a second to come back to reality and realise that this picture was not supposed to be shown and I quickly scrolled forward.

SCENE II: The same day evening we were roaming around in civic center (bhilai) , when one of my dear friend caught a moment and asked me about the picture. I told her the whole story with a smile on my face all through the narration.

In the end she says: "Chau ... m also a girl !! and let me tell you my personal experience..... YOU CAN SCORE A GOAL EVEN WITH THE GOAL KEEPER STANDING "

I inquired : " YEAH .... BUT CAN U CHANGE THE GOAL KEEPER??"

SHE says: "possibly....if u keep on scoring goal...the manager might change the goalkeeper...or the goalkeeper might give up himself"

SCENE III: four of us(sethi,sanki,chitku and me) were sitting face to face in the digital EC lab, busy with our irregular, senseless, hillarious BHAAT. All of a sudden chitku stares at me and says : " yaar... YAAD A RHI HAI"

I SAID: "let me pass on a funda to you.... YOU CAN SCORE A GOAL EVEN WITH THE GOAL KEEPER STANDING"

and then there was a few moments of silence in the honour of the big statement... I could see the spark in chitku's eyes :P . Then we decided..." lets play the game atleast...we may not win...but lets try first ... we will push each others tempo (both being too lazy for such events)... god knows one of us my win"

SCENE IV: 2 weeks later, we were again at the back bench of Soft Computing class, while professor Sudhir was teaching some properties of genetic algorithms (which we were ofcourse not listening to) . We were evaluating our performance in the game .. counting the goals we scored (none)... disheartened ...disappointed...realizing that we dont even know who the goal keeper is ... what are his strengths and weaknesses ...how do we beat him !!.

Somehow, even god wasn't happy to see sadness on otherwise cheerful faces....so .... all of a sudden this comes up as a concluding statement to the topic prof was teaching

Prof: " SO, if u cannot change the goal keeper ...change the goal"

We looked at each other ... and laughed... and laughed so loud that the guy who was sleeping behind us woke up with a shock :P

Now comes the question that why is this in my blog after 1 whole year...well...we were in the lab today when sanki pings on gtalk saying
" yaar woh kya tha goal changing goalkeeper wala funda kya tha?"

and looking back into the past one year i realized that a few of my good friends have knowingly/unknowingly used her FUNDA and it has worked out for them ... they did score even with the goalkeeper standing..... being thousand of KM's away on a training... or being close enough to be called next door neighbors.... and CHANGED THE GOALKEEPER!!

PS: To chitku if he reads this : "WHAT SAY ?? " :D

ANAND UTSAV 2009 !!

YES...ITS TIME NOW FOR THE MOST CELEBRATED BIRTHDAY( read GPL) of the year......the most awaited GPL FEST......ITS JAI ANANDS BIRTHDAY on 6th of august..... the gpl session which people wait all year long.....if you are angry or sad or frustrated by your life.......or even if you are happy.....seniors,juniors,girls,guys....breaking all barriers...COME ON ..this is the place you need to be....and since its his last birthday in kgp....it makes the fest much more important.....considering last years overwhelming response... CGM has made some special arrangements so that we can have maximum fun out of the rare moment.

• considering last yrs angry and over excited crowd....GPL will be organized in 2 slots....

slot timings :

A 11:30PM - 11:55 pm
B 12:05 AM - whatever it takes :D

• book your slot with any one of the organizing member of ANAND UTSAV(CGM) and come at you own slot

• an entry fees of 1 Rs will be charged for the supply of cold drinks during the fest (not for drinking idiot....its will be used for smooth GPL session...u know what i mean ;) )
  

• Please bring your own chaappals, boots etc...CGM is not responsible for any misplacement or theft of chappals.

• harsh , orko and keshav (security team members) will make sure everybody gets equal opportunity...bribe them for extra hits ;)

• ALL PARTICIPANTS MUST REGISTER VIA GTALK, E mail or PERSONALLY BEFORE 7 PM, 5th august, so that a proper list of participants can be generated :) ... please cooperate
  

• rest rules are same as last year....hoping for a memorable and less chaotic event :) .... c u soon...any updates will be posted here.... contact CGM for any queries !!
  

दर्शन अभिलाषी

JAI ANAND
मेली बल्बादी में जलूल जलूल आना !!!

नज़रें बदली तो नज़ारे बदले,
कश्तियों ने बदला रुख ,तो किनारे बदले

कुछ हम बदले, कुछ ज़माना बदला
पल भर में किस्मत के तारे बदले

है गजब खेल ये समय की दौड़
सुलझे सवालों के इशारे बदले

धुन तो आज भी वही है गीतों की
लब्ज़ों के मायने है सारे बदले

'if' by rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

JUST ANOTHER DAY 1:BHATU's LAW

It was the hot summer afternoon at kgp...around 1:20 PM while me and bhatu were cycling to reach the exam room at vikramshila, with our regular BOY TALKs... we came up with a wierd and funny conversation....written below:

me: "yaar bhatu...tu itna shareef, shant, achha bachha hai....teri bandi honi chhaiye ek"

bhatu: " abe yaar...honi to chhaiye, but KGP MEIN BANDI PANA IS AS DIFFCULT AS NEHLI MARNA"

me: woh kaise??

bhatu: "dekh...dono ke liye constant motivation chahiye....throughout mehnat karni padti hai"

me: " so does it mean ki sare nehliyon ki bandi honi chhaiye"

bhatu: "are nahi ....chau ...dekh dono ka difficulty level same hai...but qualities different hai..ab jo log nehli marne mein "cali" ka use karte hai....woh chidiya (read bandi) nahi maar pate...aur jo chidiya maar lete hai unka nehli marna mushkil hota hai"

me: " haan baat to sahi hai.... dono ke liye hard work chahiye...mentally , physically( class jana== 2.2 ke chakkar marna) , economically( notes , book ke kharche== hotel + tr8) taxing bhi hai...infact huuhaa analogy hai"

bhatu: "exactly...dekh apne batch mein kitne nehli honge approx?"

me: "around 40.....y ? "

bhatu: this proves my statement too.... 40 nehli hai...aur 40 ke hi aas paas bandiyaan bhi hai....."1 bandi = 1 NEHLI"

me: "ooooooohhh.... so does it mean ki meine 2 nehli maar ke ... 2 bandi pane ka chance kho diya :O :P"

bhatu: " might be.... tune effort divert kiya hota to shayad kuch ho jata"


By this time we were at the cycle parking.... so it ended like this:

bhatu: " CHAU ... tu nehli hi mar le !! ... :P ... chidiya marne wale bahut hai kgp mein... waise bhi aasmaan(read kgp) mein jada bachi nahi hai :P"