He was lying on his cosy couch, relaxed and calm, scanning through the innumerable crappy TV channels looking for something to kill time. Everything was fine until that one moment. That one moment which comes now and then and drains everything out of his mind. That one moment he battles with once in a while and is defeated, always, easily. He switched off the TV, hurried to catch the keys of his bike, said nothing to anybody back home and drove at once. Driving swiftly with lazy expertness, through the excessively crowded and noisy road due to navaratri celebration, he felt an deep urge to scream at them, just once, so loud that his own voice would be the last sound striking his eardrums till he reaches his destination.
It took him around 10 minutes to reach there. He had first come to this place 6 years back. He had came with a bunch of other relatives for the creamation ceremony of one of his old aunt. And since then made coutless visits to this place. He parked his bike and walked of the dusty road. "Shivnath" river was roaring like a lion. In front of the old shiv temple on one of the banks of river there were stairs to walk towards the river. A barricade had been made a few years back just where the stairs end to keep a check on river water. On one side of the barricade water was calm except for the occasional disturbance created by wind on its surface. The other side was pretty low and water would fall from a good enough height through the barriade and splash against the sloping rocks turning itself into white powder and foam. It is nothing short of a man made waterfall. On both sides of the river are dense green forest and ocassionaly a few fisherman can be seen with their huge fishing nets and small boats.
He walked along the river bank towards one of the huge rocks. The rock was flat at on top and made an excellent place to sit. He climbed to the top of the rock and blew away the dust and sat over it. It was time for sunset and the place was quite, as always, just like he wanted. So quite and peaceful that he could close his eyes and feel each breath he would inhale. Air, with the sweet smell of wet soil. He sat there with mind completely blank. He forced a thought, but it would not stay, giving him a mixed feeling of anger and pleasure. for years he had tried to justify coming to this place, his sudden urge to stay alone and quiet. What is so special here that he comes rushing here. he has tried to "reason" his sudden urge once in a while to renounce everything, speak nothing and stay alone, quite, undisturbed. But he has failed miserable. because there was no reason behind it, not a single one he could think of. Because reasons can be fought with reasons, and it would have given him a slight hope to win over this urge. The fact that he has never been able to justify his urge made the matter worse. Its like a battle lost without even fighting it, because the enemy is extremely powerful yet unknown.
He sat there, for hours and hours, arrogant and unaware of the world around. for a split second, distant noise of loudspeakers and chattisgarhi folk music bothered him. It was coming from the woods. But even this thought, just like many others, vanished into the empty space, just like the river water splashing against the sloping barricade, turning into white powder and then lost into the swift waves.
Time flew like the swiftly blowing wind over the surface of water. He could see the sun slowly turning orange and drowning happily into the river far ahead. sky turned from clear Blue to Orange to Grey and finally Black. But he felt like he had just came and would give everything he has, if somebody could just stop the time and hold the world still. The view was still majestic, after the sun was completely submerged into the river water, sky was decorated by the moon in its full glory and his fellow twinkling stars. They seemed to be in perfect harmony. there was no fight between them for space. there were no borders or Line of control in the sky. There was no rush in their existence. The stars were not jealous of the moons brightness, instead seemed happy for him. Everything was calm and eternal, and any attempt to describe the moment would be futile.
Then came a call from his sister to come back. he wanted to reply back, but could not speak. It felt like his mind wanted to create some noise with the vocal cords but his heart wont allow . In fact, he hated the noise created by his own cell phone. It felt to him like a heinous crime against the peaceful surrounding. Quietly, he stood up, bowed before the idol of "Lord Shiva" in the temple and drove back home. He had always believed that "if somebody can not enjoy his own company, he should not expect other to enjoy his company". He has quietly laughed upon people who are afraid to stay alone, afraid of themselves. Its so much fun to be alone, or rather to be with a nature around, quiet and eternal. There's no rush in life, nothing in future or past as precious as the present. and he was happy to make the best out of his present, without the need of expensive clothes, or exquisite perfume, or delicious food.........without anything...anything.
It took him around 10 minutes to reach there. He had first come to this place 6 years back. He had came with a bunch of other relatives for the creamation ceremony of one of his old aunt. And since then made coutless visits to this place. He parked his bike and walked of the dusty road. "Shivnath" river was roaring like a lion. In front of the old shiv temple on one of the banks of river there were stairs to walk towards the river. A barricade had been made a few years back just where the stairs end to keep a check on river water. On one side of the barricade water was calm except for the occasional disturbance created by wind on its surface. The other side was pretty low and water would fall from a good enough height through the barriade and splash against the sloping rocks turning itself into white powder and foam. It is nothing short of a man made waterfall. On both sides of the river are dense green forest and ocassionaly a few fisherman can be seen with their huge fishing nets and small boats.
He walked along the river bank towards one of the huge rocks. The rock was flat at on top and made an excellent place to sit. He climbed to the top of the rock and blew away the dust and sat over it. It was time for sunset and the place was quite, as always, just like he wanted. So quite and peaceful that he could close his eyes and feel each breath he would inhale. Air, with the sweet smell of wet soil. He sat there with mind completely blank. He forced a thought, but it would not stay, giving him a mixed feeling of anger and pleasure. for years he had tried to justify coming to this place, his sudden urge to stay alone and quiet. What is so special here that he comes rushing here. he has tried to "reason" his sudden urge once in a while to renounce everything, speak nothing and stay alone, quite, undisturbed. But he has failed miserable. because there was no reason behind it, not a single one he could think of. Because reasons can be fought with reasons, and it would have given him a slight hope to win over this urge. The fact that he has never been able to justify his urge made the matter worse. Its like a battle lost without even fighting it, because the enemy is extremely powerful yet unknown.
He sat there, for hours and hours, arrogant and unaware of the world around. for a split second, distant noise of loudspeakers and chattisgarhi folk music bothered him. It was coming from the woods. But even this thought, just like many others, vanished into the empty space, just like the river water splashing against the sloping barricade, turning into white powder and then lost into the swift waves.
Time flew like the swiftly blowing wind over the surface of water. He could see the sun slowly turning orange and drowning happily into the river far ahead. sky turned from clear Blue to Orange to Grey and finally Black. But he felt like he had just came and would give everything he has, if somebody could just stop the time and hold the world still. The view was still majestic, after the sun was completely submerged into the river water, sky was decorated by the moon in its full glory and his fellow twinkling stars. They seemed to be in perfect harmony. there was no fight between them for space. there were no borders or Line of control in the sky. There was no rush in their existence. The stars were not jealous of the moons brightness, instead seemed happy for him. Everything was calm and eternal, and any attempt to describe the moment would be futile.
Then came a call from his sister to come back. he wanted to reply back, but could not speak. It felt like his mind wanted to create some noise with the vocal cords but his heart wont allow . In fact, he hated the noise created by his own cell phone. It felt to him like a heinous crime against the peaceful surrounding. Quietly, he stood up, bowed before the idol of "Lord Shiva" in the temple and drove back home. He had always believed that "if somebody can not enjoy his own company, he should not expect other to enjoy his company". He has quietly laughed upon people who are afraid to stay alone, afraid of themselves. Its so much fun to be alone, or rather to be with a nature around, quiet and eternal. There's no rush in life, nothing in future or past as precious as the present. and he was happy to make the best out of his present, without the need of expensive clothes, or exquisite perfume, or delicious food.........without anything...anything.
